Isaiah 41:10 Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous hand. (NASB)
The above scripture was sent to me by a dear friend today to comfort me after the difficult news I heard earlier. The PET I had Friday showed "increased activity" in both lungs and the lymph nodes near my sternum. In layman's terms, the cancer has spread to my lungs. The worst part was having to tell my oldest who has already lost a loved one to this dreaded disease. My dear friend was praying for me as I delivered the news.
"Do not fear!" I am choosing to move forward in trust, not fear. Though I may grieve for my husband and children and the life I had hoped for, I will trust that the plan the Lord has for me and them is infinitely better than anything I could have planned.
"For I am with you" God is with me ALWAYS. He understands my sorrow and grieves with me, but he also tells me to take joy in my suffering and this I will do. One of the gifts of the Holy Spirit is joy and this I pray will be poured down upon my household and all who enter it.
"Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God" I must admit, I tend toward the anxious, but several of my friends have never failed to remind me that I do not worship a God of fear and anxiety. This is the path He has chosen for me and my focus needs to be on Him, not the storms around me. I pray for faith that I will be able to do this and that my hope will remain strong.
"I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous hand" I so desperately need His strength and help right now. I am already physically and emotionally tired and this journey has only just begun. I am grateful for His people who are already pouring out their love and strength to me and I pray that I will use them to help me and my family on the road ahead.
I have a biopsy scheduled for Wednesday and depending on the results, should start a new chemotherapy called Xeloda on Friday. It is a pill that I will take twice a day for two weeks at a time with a break every third week. It's all good though. God is good and His people are good and His plans are good and this life is good and I am determined to remain grateful. All I ask of any of you who may happen upon this little blog is that you pray for joy in my spirit, heart, and home.
On a lighter note, here is the picture my husband's next wife is going to have to look at above her mantle. I know, I know...you all wish you were as artistic. Maybe in your next life you will be blessed with my talent :)